57 varieties it says right there on the label. Let me tell you something. I've spent the better part of fifteen years scouring supermarkets all over the East Coast and all I can ever seem to find is one damn variety. Just the same old unimaginative variety of ketchup whether it’s contained in the traditional glass bottle or this newfangled plastic squeeze contraption. Even the little packets you get at the fast food restaurants are the same damn stuff. I know what you're probably thinking. "What's the big deal?" Well here's an analogy for you. Do you ever play cards? 52 different cards in a deck, right? 52 varieties of cards if you will. Well what if all 52 cards were say, for instance, the nine of clubs. Wouldn't make for much of a poker game, would it? So take it one step further. What if instead of the nine of clubs, you were playing poker with 52 little ketchup packets. Is it so far fetched to think that some of these packets might break open during the course of play? And then what would you have? Ketchup getting all over folk's hands I would imagine. Now if each packet contained a unique and interesting variety of ketchup it might be fun. You get some ketchup on your hand so you go ahead and lick it off. "Mmm, that one has a mellow smoky taste." Then maybe you get some nice zesty ketchup on yourself the next time. Before long, you'd be intentionally breaking open packets just so you could sample them. You and your buddies could even vote on your top 10 varieties. Better than a stupid old card game any day. Unfortunately though, each packet does not contain a unique type of ketchup. That 57 variety thing is a farce. In reality, they're all the same stinkin variety and suddenly, having you’re hands covered in sticky ketchup doesn’t sound like so much fun after all. So that, my friend, is the big deal. That’s why I turn to Gulden’s for most of my condiment needs. You can trust them because they don’t insult your intelligence by falsely advertising some absurd number of varieties. Oh no, with Gulden’s, what you see is what you get. A little spicy brown magic to liven up your sandwich. And Mister, isn’t that really what it’s all about?