They say the path to hell is paved with good intentions. This is quite a profound statement, but what does it really mean? Have you ever lost sleep thinking about it? I have.
First of all, the thing that jumps out at me is the fact that the path to hell is paved at all. I always sort of assumed it was unpaved and probably full of jagged rocks and such. Then I come to learn that not only is it paved, it's paved with good intentions. Now, I don't know if you've ever had the pleasure of walking on good intentions, but as you might imagine, they're very soft and easy on the feet.
Apparently the Devil spared no expense with this little path project because he certainly could have gone with a much cheaper building material. I assure you that if the path to hell were paved with bricks, Beelzebub would have saved himself some serious cash. In fact, not paving it at all would have cost him nothing and nobody ever would have complained. So why did he take hard earned money out of his own pocket to make life more comfortable for those poor wretches on the path to eternal damnation? Somehow, it just doesn't add up. Then I got to thinking. Maybe he's not really the evil mean spirited jerk that the media portrays him to be.
You see, our perceptions of public figures are often dictated by media representations and not by actual first hand experiences. For instance, you don't think negatively toward the Devil because he came into your home and committed some act of unquestionable evil. He never once tracked dirt across your clean floors because he couldn't be bothered to take off his shoes at the damn door. Oh no, you think he is evil simply because you read in the papers about how he went down to Georgia with his fiddle looking for souls to steal. But is this an accurate portrayal of what really took place? I mean you have this shady character known only as "Johnny" running to the media with some cockamamy story and suddenly the Devil is branded "The Prince of Darkness".
A mild mannered fiddler turned into the biggest scapegoat the world has ever known. Somebody does something wrong these days and ah, "the Devil made him do it". It's just ludicrous if you ask me. Like this guy has nothing better to do than dress up in a red body suit with horns and go around with a pitch fork trying to entice people into misbehaving. Anyone who seriously believes that probably also thinks that Keebler cookies are actually made by happy little elves in some tree. I mean, let's be realistic, any elf crazy enough to betray Santa and attempt to work in a tree making cookies would be sleeping with the fishes awful quick. So it's quite obvious that the whole elf thing is just a clever facade. The truth is, Keebler cookies are made by ambitious squirrels bent on world domination. Clearly, their intention is to fatten us up while they prepare to make their move. But I digress.
We must not stray from what brought us here today, which is the plight of that poor misunderstood fellow we sometimes call Satan. It seems to me he gets a bum rap. We criticize him for lurking in the shadows, but can you really blame the guy. I'd probably lurk in the shadows too if everyone thought I was the epitome of evil. It's gotten to the point where old Lucipher can't even conduct business anymore, not with this whole "don't make a deal with the Devil" attitude that everyone seems to have. It's as if he were some kind of swindler or something. I truly don't understand what the hell it's all about.
And speaking of hell, everyone keeps harping on the fact that it's so very hot down there. Sure it's hot, but it's a dry heat. Very low humidity and plenty of shade. The kind of place where you might like to sit back and kick up your feet with a refreshing beverage. But no, that's where the Devil lives and anything associated with him has to be bad. I'm sure if he lived in Hawaii everyone would go on and on about how Hawaii is this horrible evil place full of volcanos and man eating sharks. It's just a shame is all.
