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from Goo, Buckshot and the Kid (The Fearsome Threesome)

The Best Defense

U.S. Army Gen. George Casey, at a recent Pentagon press conference, unveiled what he calls the “Scissors Defense.” Apparently it is designed to thwart any paper based attacks against the United States or our interests abroad. Well that’s all fine and good, but what if some sleeper cell has already infiltrated our borders and has access to rocks. It’s not entirely implausible. Unfortunately, despite my vehement protests, our nation’s quarries continue to go virtually unguarded. So what if the unthinkable happens? What then, General? A lot of damn good those scissors are gonna do us!

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Random Strange Thoughts from the Kid

They say “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” but then again, who cares? I never felt that old dogs made good magicians anyway.

Looking back now, I sometimes wonder if the monster in my closet was really just a harmless gay guy not yet ready to come out.

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Random Thoughts from Goo Goblins

My friend “Shithead” once asked me if I ever wondered how I got my name.

You ever be sitting in a board meeting while a District manager is rambling on and you decide it would probably be a real good idea to slowly creep up behind him, and then dive on top of him hugging him saying “You make so many wonderful points, I just want to snuggle with you, my Mr. Smarty Man.”

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Random Thoughts from Buckshot the Bandit

When your a kid growing up your parents are always telling you to Just Say No to drugs. Personally, I think that if you are talking to drugs it's probably a little too late to say no.

I like kids. What I don't like are those damn shoes that are the "new thing" for kids these days. You know those fucking things with wheels on the bottom of them. Every time I see a kid go rolling by with those things on I'd like to grab them by the back of their little kid neck pull off one of those shoes and start beating them over the head with it. Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn't do any permanent damage to the kid, just enough to make him think twice before putting those things back on his feet. I don't know, maybe that's just me.

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