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from Goo, Buckshot and the Kid (The Fearsome Threesome)

Behind The Glass?

The optimist sees this glass as half full. The pessimist sees it as half empty. Then there's the fat dude, who doesn't take note of the glass at all because his eye is caught by that box of chocolate donuts sitting over there in the background. The donuts are calling out to him like the Sirens called to the brave Odysseus, and he, like Odysseus, is being drawn in by their sweet song. He is helplessly under their chocolaty spell. Ah, but wait. What's that off to the right? It's a bit blurry but could it be? Oh yes, it's a low fat yogurt, the one thing that can break the spell and spare this fat dude from certain death by chocolate. You might think this sounds unrealistic. The idea that a fat guy is going to choose a low fat yogurt over a scrumptious donut. Well perhaps you didn't realize that that's a Dannon yogurt sitting there. That's right, fruit on the bottom Baby! Those wonderful luscious peaches just sitting down there like buried treasure waiting to be dug up by some lucky fat dude. And let me tell you this. When he inserts the spoon and sees those golden peaches rise up to break the surface, suddenly it won't matter that he's mixing those peaches with low fat yogurt. You see, at that point, it will have nothing to do with yogurt anymore. And I assure you that something as insignificant as a chocolate donut will be long forgotten as fat dude and peaches become one. Fruity salvation I call it and boy is it ever something to behold.

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Random Strange Thoughts from the Kid

If I ever do get arrested and charged with the possession of narcotics I think I'll have to remind the Judge that possession is only nine-tenths the law. Oh yes, and believe me, I'll emphasize the significance of that other one-tenth until it seems impossible to ignore. Then, to put the icing on the cake, after I've gone on and on about that last tenth, I'll close my argument with something along the lines of "There's your shadow of a doubt right there, Buddy!"

You know that saying, "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride." Well, it seems to me that women who fit that description should at least take solace in the fact that they don't fall into the "never a bridesmaid, never a bride" classification.

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Random Thoughts from Goo Goblins

I like to go up to random white people on the street and say “I should have guessed it, your one of them Bush people aren’t you. Then I like to shake my head with disgust and say “you look like a darn Neanderthal.”

I found out the hard way, that you should never put your finger really close to a bear’s face and play the “But, I’m not touching you Game.”

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Random Thoughts from Buckshot the Bandit

I saw 4 people walking funny today: 2 girls and 2 guys. It makes you wonder what the girls were up to last night. It REALLY makes you wonder what the guys were up to.

I think the saying "It's not rocket science" has had such longevity because it fits almost any conversation. In fact, the only situation that it really doesn't apply is when it actually is rocket science.

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