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from Goo, Buckshot and the Kid (The Fearsome Threesome)

The Claw?

Here we see Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf doing that famed "Claw" routine with his left hand. It's something he does at press conferences in order to side step the tough questions. That's right. Whenever he gets hit with a difficult inquiry the "Claw" immediately comes to life. He claims it has a mind of its own. First it starts grabbing at the air in the direction of the person who asked the question and then, inevitably, the "Claw" turns on Musharraf himself. It clutches onto his face, causing him to flail around screaming "Ahhhh, the Claw has got me. It's tearing out my eyes!" Of course, it usually only takes him a short time to pry the "Claw" away using his right hand, but then there's always that period of several uncomfortable minutes during which the "Claw" has to be physically restrained and occasionally breaks free and starts toward his face again. Eventually it does begin to settle down and returns to being a regular hand, but by this time, the tough question has usually been forgotten.

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Random Strange Thoughts from the Kid

Looking back now, I sometimes wonder if the monster in my closet was really just a harmless gay guy not yet ready to come out.

The next time some punk offers me a penny for my thoughts I think I’m gonna have to try and hold out for at least a nickel.

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Random Thoughts from Goo Goblins

You ever wonder if throwing Chinese Stars at work would be considered inappropriate? If you haven’t, why don’t you think about it!

After Sunday mass I like to inform the priest that he gave an excellent sermon by saying, “Hey Father, you really fuckin’ nailed that shit, good for you.” Then when he looks angry and says “I don’t think the colorful language is necessary, my son,” I scream “I’ll never join you. You’re not my father.” And then I try to cut off his hand with my plastic light saber, which I pull out from my satchel.

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Random Thoughts from Buckshot the Bandit

Just where the hell does Kermit get off singing It's not easy being green. I mean how hard does he really have it. He's got Miss Piggy to bang out when ever he wants to and all his other Muppet buddies are never far away. Did you ever have a plan to play football game just to have your friends that committed bitch out and then that only left you with enough people to play 1 on 1, with an all time QB? Kermit's always got enough friends around to play a game and even have lines. He even realizes that he is full of shit by the end of the song when he says that he’s beautiful being green. Now on the other hand, if the Hulk ever wanted to sing about the sorrows of being green I'd have no problem with that. Go Hulk!!!

When I see one of those Geico cavemen commercials it always pisses me off. Back in my day a caveman with a little self-discipline could really make something of himself. Take for example Captain Caveman. He was a super hero of sorts and you always knew that his heart was in the right place. If you where an evil doer and you heard the ferocious cry "Captain Caa'aaaaaave Maannnnn!!!" you knew to run the opposite direction. He was even a captain to boot (Although I'm not sure which branch of the military gave him the rank). I think that the Geico cavemen could learn a lot from Captain Caveman, but then again I think that we could all learn something from the Captain.

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