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from Goo, Buckshot and the Kid (The Fearsome Threesome)

The Best Defense

U.S. Army Gen. George Casey, at a recent Pentagon press conference, unveiled what he calls the ďScissors Defense.Ē Apparently it is designed to thwart any paper based attacks against the United States or our interests abroad. Well thatís all fine and good, but what if some sleeper cell has already infiltrated our borders and has access to rocks. Itís not entirely implausible. Unfortunately, despite my vehement protests, our nationís quarries continue to go virtually unguarded. So what if the unthinkable happens? What then, General? A lot of damn good those scissors are gonna do us!

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Random Strange Thoughts from the Kid

Iím assuming that whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword must have been referring to one of those cute little plastic swords that you sometimes see holding finger sandwiches together.

They say ďHell hath no fury like a woman scorned.Ē If you think it through, that must mean that there arenít any scorned women in Hell. So now you know why I spend so much of my time in drag trying to get people to scorn me. The way I see it, thatís my ticket to Heaven. Of course, itís fairly easy finding potential scorners when youíre a six foot two inch weird guy running around in a dress. Most folks you approach do tend to scorn you, after all. But then thereís the little technicality of my not actually being a woman. I sometimes wonder if God will overlook that. I tell ya, things would be so much more straight forward if the saying simply could have been ďHell hath no fury like a lazy dude who tends to over eat and enjoys watching sports."

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Random Thoughts from Goo Goblins

I like to set really loud ring tones and then hide my cell phone in secret places while at work, and then I like to stand in the middle of the office and ask if I could borrow someone's cell phone to call mine so I can find it. When it begins rigning I say "Do you hear that, listen carefully, it's my phone, and it's up my ass again."

What if your mind had a mind of its own?

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Random Thoughts from Buckshot the Bandit

It's funny how some products take off and some just go away. Take for example Sweet n Low. It has been a huge success since it was introduced and shows no signs of going away. Then, on the other hand you have Bitter n High which you probably have never heard of. It was introduced in the 50's just before Sweet n Low and it was a mix of lemon juice and LCD. Now I don't know about you but I can't think of anything that sounds better than a little tart flavored acid trip to start your morning off but it seems that most Americans did not agree with me. Oh well I guess that's why I'm not in the foods business.

It was awful nice of San Francisco to share their treat with us.

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