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from Goo, Buckshot and the Kid (The Fearsome Threesome)

Three Man Handshake?

Ah, the three man handshake, something you don't see nearly enough of these days. When done right, it is an absolute thing of beauty. Three guys, hands intermingled, all shaking hands with one another simultaneously. It's true that the maneuver simply consists of three separate individual handshakes, but these handshakes are performed with such great skill and coordination that an unforgettable moment of breathtaking unity is created. A clear example of the whole being far greater than the sum of its parts. And these three make it look so effortless. But alas, it is becoming a lost art. It seems that in this politically correct world we live in, everyone is putting such a high premium on eye contact. It's gotten to the point where if you don't make eye contact, everyone assumes you have something to hide. Of course, it is impossible to achieve total eye contact when engaging in a three man handshake and, therefore, this handshake has been effectively rendered socially unacceptable. Sure, folks have experimented with what I call "revolving eye contact", in which each man in a three man handshake looks at the head of the man to his left. But let's face it, that's not eye contact at all really. It takes two to tango, if you know what I mean. Then of course, there's the "odd man out" approach, in which two of the guys in a three way handshake look directly into each others eyes in perfect textbook fashion. The problem with this, however, is that the third guy just gets left hanging and the whole unity thing doesn't come across nearly as well. As a matter of fact, the third guy ends up looking like some tag along that the other two apparently want nothing to do with. So in the end, the only viable option is to do what these three gentleman are doing. They make no effort at eye contact whatsoever. Instead, they stare boldly out at the world as if to say, "Look at us world, as we stand here performing our wonderful three man handshake. Damn you and your silly little notions about the importance of eye contact. We are three middle aged men in suits wearing spectacles and we will not bow down before your political correctness."

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Random Strange Thoughts from the Kid

They call them restrooms and yet I still get strange looks every damn time I curl up to take a nap at the foot of one of those urinals?

I really hate the term masturbation. Itís just that it sounds so unromantic. Instead, I prefer to think of it as sleeping with myself and I must admit, I do sleep with myself quite regularly. I reckon you might even say that me and my hand are in a committed relationship. Now, donít get me wrong, there are times when I do cheat on my hand and have sex with my wife, but I can honestly say this happens only very rarely and in my defense, my hand is always present and often involved, so I guess itís really more of a threesome situation now that I actually think about it.

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Random Thoughts from Goo Goblins

They say ants are supposed to be so strong in relation to their size, thatís why I always pick fights with them. Think About It?

They say Aunts are supposed to be so strong, no, actually I never heard that said about Aunts.

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Random Thoughts from Buckshot the Bandit

Whenever people are mad at me I tell them to blame it on the rain. I don't need to take their shit.

If you ever ask someone how old they are and they reply with anything over 125 they're probably lying.

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