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from Goo, Buckshot and the Kid (The Fearsome Threesome)

Which Is Better

If you recall a while back, FBI Director Robert Mueller unveiled what he referred to as his “unstoppable” karate chop move, the very one he intends to use in the fight against terrorism. Well now, CIA Director George Tenet has come out with his own CIA version of the karate chop move. Unfortunately, this clearly demonstrates that despite all the talk about sharing information between agencies, the FBI and the CIA are still functioning completely independent of one another. You see, Mueller and the FBI insist upon using the old school rigid hand approach when it comes to the karate chop move while Tenet and the CIA have adopted a less rigid cupped hand approach. Which move is more effective? It’s not my place to say. Each one has its own advantages and disadvantages, but the bottom line is this. Unless we as a Nation decide on a single unified karate chop move, I fear the War on Terror will ultimately be lost.

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Random Strange Thoughts from the Kid

I’ve long suspected that Charlie Tuna was, in fact, the ruthless leader of an elaborate undersea underworld. Oh yes, and you can be damn sure that any flounder who didn’t play by his rules found himself “sleeping with the humans” in a pair of balloon shoes. Of course, I could never prove that.

I think that if I was a bull I’d be mighty tempted to just meander into some random china shop, but instead of breaking stuff, I would be real cautious and very calmly browse around. Then, after a few minutes, I’d make a small purchase and exit uneventfully.

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Random Thoughts from Goo Goblins

I found out the hard way, that you should never put your finger really close to a bear’s face and play the “But, I’m not touching you Game.”

I like to go into the supermarket and go over to the seafood section where they have all the fish laid out on crushed ice, and I like to start snowball fights, usually with older women or young children.

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Random Thoughts from Buckshot the Bandit

I like kids. What I don't like are those damn shoes that are the "new thing" for kids these days. You know those fucking things with wheels on the bottom of them. Every time I see a kid go rolling by with those things on I'd like to grab them by the back of their little kid neck pull off one of those shoes and start beating them over the head with it. Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn't do any permanent damage to the kid, just enough to make him think twice before putting those things back on his feet. I don't know, maybe that's just me.

It's funny how some products take off and some just go away. Take for example Sweet n Low. It has been a huge success since it was introduced and shows no signs of going away. Then, on the other hand you have Bitter n High which you probably have never heard of. It was introduced in the 50's just before Sweet n Low and it was a mix of lemon juice and LCD. Now I don't know about you but I can't think of anything that sounds better than a little tart flavored acid trip to start your morning off but it seems that most Americans did not agree with me. Oh well I guess that's why I'm not in the foods business.

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