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from Goo, Buckshot and the Kid (The Fearsome Threesome)

The Claw?

Here we see Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf doing that famed "Claw" routine with his left hand. It's something he does at press conferences in order to side step the tough questions. That's right. Whenever he gets hit with a difficult inquiry the "Claw" immediately comes to life. He claims it has a mind of its own. First it starts grabbing at the air in the direction of the person who asked the question and then, inevitably, the "Claw" turns on Musharraf himself. It clutches onto his face, causing him to flail around screaming "Ahhhh, the Claw has got me. It's tearing out my eyes!" Of course, it usually only takes him a short time to pry the "Claw" away using his right hand, but then there's always that period of several uncomfortable minutes during which the "Claw" has to be physically restrained and occasionally breaks free and starts toward his face again. Eventually it does begin to settle down and returns to being a regular hand, but by this time, the tough question has usually been forgotten.

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Random Strange Thoughts from the Kid

They say that the “early bird gets the worm.” Well, to tell you the truth, I think I’d just as soon not have the worm anyway. I mean, what the hell am I gonna do with a freakin worm. Just let me sleep, damn it!

I happen to have a small fortune. Oh yes, I got it out of a Chinese cookie. Apparently, “my principles mean more to me than money or success.” I guess that explains how I wound up a penniless loser. And to think, I had always just assumed that it was a result of my degenerate gambling.

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Random Thoughts from Goo Goblins

You ever wonder what they would say to you in a fish store if you walked in wearing full scuba equipment and attempted to try to dive into one of the tanks?

You ever get called in to your boss’ office and he’s screaming at you for the reports that you accidentally lit on fire and shoved down the pants of the guy in the cubicle next to you? Have You? Think about it!

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Random Thoughts from Buckshot the Bandit

When I walk into Bed Bath and Beyond I always head straight to the beyond section.

So the other day I was thinking about starting a band. We'd be called Climax and we'd only have one song. Here are the lyrics: Oh, Oh. This would be followed by some squirting sound effects and then the song would fade to silence. This idea falls under the thoughts category because it is just that, a thought. If I ever follow through on my plans I will move it to the Actions category.

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